


Dias de Verano

by Shinri29



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, First Loves, Flashbacks, Loss of Virginity, Self-indulgent fluff with a dash of angst, gratuitous food descriptions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-12-31 14:48:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21147479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinri29/pseuds/Shinri29
Summary: Excerpt:"You don't remember me, Rey?"In an instant Rey was transported to fourteen years ago, to sweltering heat and chocolate coated churros, to sparkling, sweaty dancing and too many glasses of cheap sangria.  To those same whiskey eyes dilated to inky pools as they shared sloppy kisses with too much tongue and an abundance of laughter.  Yeah, she remembered Ben Solo.There were worse ways to meet your first love again.Play it cool, Andor.A polite smile in place, Rey stepped from behind the high table displaying hip replacements and transdermal drug patches to lean casually against the front end of the table, where he was close enough to waft a hint of spicy cologne.  Steadfastly ignoring the way her heart fluttered at that lopsided smile, at the laughter lines crinkling around his eyes which added dignity to a strangely, breathtakingly beautiful face, she cocked a head to the side."It's Matt, right?""Ben."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Amaral's _Dias de Verano_.
> 
> Uhhh this ended up being wayyy fluffier than I expected.

_Es de esos días de verano_  
_Vivo en el reino de soledad_  
_Nunca vas a saber como me siento_  
_Nadie va a adivinar como te recuerdo_

Amaral (Dias de verano)

June 2019  
Philadelphia BIO 2019

Twenty five minutes past one manning the booth alone on an empty stomach and Rey was about ready to fake an appendicitis or plot a gruesome revenge against her coworker Rose for running late. As it was, she had already blown up Rose's phone with increasingly unhinged threats.

_Rose, I'm dyyying._

_If I have to buy a bloody $15 cheesesteak at the convention center because there's no time for lunch, you owe me like the first two rounds of happy hour._

_Rose, the last person who came by struck up small talk about bitcoin. Bitcoin._

_Let that sink in._

_I'm soooo sorry Rey!!!!  
They had free professional photos, and the line took aaages and agees but I just fnished!  
Running in heels now!_

_Why do you need a new LinkedIn picture?  
You're not job hunting are you?_

"Rey?"

At the unexpected sound of her name from a velvety rich timber, Rey shot ramrod straight from the uncomfortable stool, where she had been hunched over her Samsung galaxy.

A handsome stranger in a pristine charcoal gray business suit that stretched over a board torso and navy tie, with dark wavy hair that begged to be run through with fingers (_my fingers_, her brain suggested helpfully), was regarding her with a hesitant smile beneath thick rimmed, stylish glasses.

"Yes?" Shit, had they met before? Or perhaps communicated electronically? Working in R&D for Resistance Labs had Rey occasionally interacting with patent attorneys and consultants, but the investor and licensing side of things was handled by Poe and Leia. Anyone this fit, professional capacity or otherwise, would have been memorable. Letting her gaze run over his towering frame in what she hoped was a neutral manner indicating interest that was polite and not creepy and lascivious, her ever optimistic hindbrain was grateful she had chosen to wear her best matching lingerie beneath the formfitting jade sheath.

But then he gave a shy, rumbling laugh that had her thighs rubbing together, and removed the thick rimmed glasses to the lay the full weight of whiskey hued, soulful eyes upon her.

"You don't remember me, Rey?"

Shit on a hockey stick.

In an instant Rey was transported to fourteen years ago, to sweltering heat and chocolate coated churros, to sparkling, sweaty dancing and too many glasses of cheap sangria. To those same whiskey eyes dilated to inky pools as they shared sloppy kisses with too much tongue and an abundance of laughter. Yeah, she remembered Ben Solo.

There were worse ways to meet your first love again.

_Play it cool, Andor._

A polite smile in place, Rey stepped from behind the high table displaying hip replacements and transdermal drug patches to lean casually against the front end of the table, where he was close enough to waft a hint of spicy cologne. Steadfastly ignoring the way her heart fluttered at that lopsided smile, at the laughter lines crinkling around his eyes which added dignity to a strangely, breathtakingly beautiful face, she cocked a head to the side.

"It's Matt, right?"

"Ben." Although his lips twitched, it was hard to decipher whether he found her act convincing. 

Rey let the correction roll over her, then assumed a falsely cheerful smile. "Ohhhh, Ben! _Righttt_. It's good to see you."

Then Ben was stepping closer, past the distance of professionals conversing, or even commuters crammed on the train (well, perhaps discounting rush hour), to bring two long arms on either side of her body to rest upon the table. Effectively caging her in, Ben leaned in further to murmur, "I could never forget you, Rey. And I'm pretty sure I can give you a reminder."

June 2005  
Madrid

_"Is this good?"_

_The rough voice panting into her ear sends a shiver of pleasure down Rey's spine, almost as much as the calloused thumb rubbing against her clit. Ben's body is long and wide as he hovers over her, pale skin dotted with beauty marks and delightfully taut with smooth muscles she licked her way down earlier tasting of sweat and boy._

_Licking her own lips at the memory, Rey gives a pleased little exhalation as Ben speeds up his thumb, finally murmuring back, "It feels good. But can you put a finger inside me?"_

_Ben nips at the soft lobe of her ear before obliging, the thick digit pressing into her entrance burning slightly as it stretches her._

_"Fuck, you're tight, Rey."_

_When Rey imagined who she would finally lose her virginity to this summer, those fantasies had alighted upon darkly handsome and flirtatious Anton from Switzerland or the shy and pretty David from Paris. But when she kissed the tall and slightly awkward American boy on a tipsy impulse, Rey couldn't find it in her to regret the choice._

_Not when Ben is kissing his way down her belly in a trajectory that has her simultaneously clenching her thighs in anticipation, and letting loose a whoop of nerves in the form of grating giggles. Ben seems to suffer from the same nervousness, hovering above her pussy with swollen, parted lips and glancing up from beneath long lashes. "Rey, can I? I mean do you mind if I..."_

_"Yes," she blurts her answer. "Fuck yes."_

_A breathtaking grin crinkles his eyes. "Are you sure?"_

_Although Rey flushes belatedly at her eagerness, Ben does not seem inclined to wait for an answer, diving in to press an enthusiastic open mouthed kiss on her clit._

_It is...wet._

_Impatient though she is to orgasm, it does cross her mind that Ben has probably not done any of this either. She lets him mouth and lick and taste her folds and clit with varying degree of pressure, as if exploring a foreign landscape. He gives lingering licks up and down her slit that have her beginning to thrash against the thin mattress, but the tempo never speeds up, and is not enough to make her see stars (if romance novels, ahem, fanfiction, were to be believed)._

_"Ben," she calls him, feeling a little awkward. "It feels amazing. But can you concentrate on sucking my clit, and go back to fingering me at the same time?"_

_Ben, far from embarrassed, gives a low chuckle against her pussy. "As you wish."_

_To his credit, he dives in immediately to do her bidding, latching those plush lips around her clit and sucking with obscene dedication. The thick finger moving with wet squelching in and out of her pussy, in tandem with his delightful assault on her clit, has white hot heat building in her belly._

_"Bennnn. Fuck, Ben..."_

_In year 2 her first boyfriend had fingered her clumsily before beating her to the finish line by coming in her hand. After he rolled over and went back to playing his x box, her own release forgotten, Rey quietly phoned her foster brother and left. On the car ride home in silent tears, Rey determined that her virginity would go to someone capable of wrecking her._

_It certainly feels that way, pleasure exploding through synapses, inner walls pulsing and gushing hot liquid over Ben's eager tongue. He licks up the essence as if he not only tolerated, but_ enjoyed _the taste, running his tongue through her folds and into her channel, over her clit and down to her puckered hole until she is forced to squirm away from overstimulation._

_"Sorry," he mumbles, belatedly noticing her discomfort. A slight flush colors his alabaster skin, and with her eyes traces its descent down his torso, to the thatch of coarse hair and his painfully erect cock. Vaguely, Rey recalls Ben batting away her earlier attempts to pull off the tented black briefs, but the thick head of his cock has pushed past the black fabric like a flag at attention. A pool of viscous liquid beads the red skin. Rey is helpless to the impulse to taste it._

_Ben shakes as her tongue sweeps delicately over the heated skin of his cock._

_Salty, bitter._

_"You taste good."_

_Warm brown eyes are flickered with golden specs in the streetlight's illumination from the open window. Throat bobbing as he lets out a low whimper. "Can I fuck you Rey?"_

_What a question. "Please."_

June 2019  
Philadelphia

Rey didn't know whether to hulk out with inhuman rage or be pathetically grateful as a sweaty faced, heavily made-up Rose hurtled into the booth mouthing what Rey assumed to be inadequate apologies.

The moment irrevocably broken by Rose's falsely chipper interruption, Ben stepped away from her space with nary a lock out of place to cast his gaze on the encased prototype with a look of intense scrutiny. As Rose dove into a passable PR spiel about Resistance Lab's innovative tech to a taciturn but unobjecting Ben, Rey took the moment to collect herself.

Ben was here.

In Philadelphia.

At BIO.

Standing at the Resistance Labs' booth.

Breathing the same air.

Occupying the same space.

As if Rey hadn't thought about him over the years. Wondered why he stopped replying to her emails, if he had ever cared as much as she.

After a moment of burning holes into that stupidly handsome profile, Rey realized that Ben was no longer pretending to listen to Rose's words, but instead turned to meet her eyes.

Dammit.

Who knew smoldering and pleading could be combined to such sexy effect?

There was the sound of a throat politely clearing. "Have you two met before?"

Right. Rose.

Tearing her gaze away from Ben, Rey gave a nervous laugh beneath Rose's upturned brow.

"What makes you say that?"

"We are old friends."

Unfortunately Ben's deep timber easily carried over Rey's incriminating reply, and after shooting Rey quick glance that read, _We are discussing this later under threat of no tacos_, Rose turned with obvious delight to Ben. "Really! And you just ran into one another here? That's amazing!"

"Yes, amazing." Rey mustered as much sweet venom into her words as possible. 

"Well Rey was just about to go on her lunch break, so you guys can catch up!"

_Et tu, Tico._

Although Ben maintained a polite expression, a genuine smile curved his lips at Rose's revelation. "That would be wonderful. If Rey does not object?"

Both pairs of eyes were on her now.

She made her lips move. "Of course not. Why would I?"

June 2005  
Mardid

_Rey is glad she borrowed her home stay sister's dress._

_A three tiered, sleeveless confection of supple lavender linen, the dress is perfect both for surviving the dry heat and keeping the smoldering gaze of Ben Solo on her tanned legs all evening at the discoteca._

_It is worth the hours of_ Friends _reruns after language school and listening with one ear to Mariana's constant chatter, including providing emphatic disagreement with Victoria Beckham's opinions on the alleged odorousness of Madrid._

_It is worth it to see the look of dumbstruck awe on Ben's face as she slips off the dress in his cramped sharehouse room, clad only in a white thong._

_She almost can't believe it is happening, even as Ben is hot and heavy against her inner thigh, as they mumble shyly about protection and tell-me-if-it-hurts._

_While Amaral's "El universo sobre mi" croons faintly from the bar on the corner, Rey takes his smooth, scorching length in hand, and guides him inside her._

_Sword in a hilt. Key in a lock. Baguette in a basket. Inexplicably, Rey's mind summons a plethora of irrelevant, vaguely sexual imagery. These metaphors always implied an inevitable seamlessness to their union. Alright, perhaps not that last one._

_Even slick with her own come to aid his entry, every tentative shift of Ben's toned thighs brings a pinching pain inside muscles unaccustomed to stretching._

_It is obvious from the deep exhalations and shuttered eyes that Ben is enjoying this more than she. Still, he pauses conscientiously to peer at her wrinkled brow with an expression of extreme effort. "Rey are you okay? Should I stop?" Ben's face is screwed up as if the very thought brings him pain, but Rey does not doubt his sincerity._

_"No! Don't stop," she assures him hastily, running her hands over his muscled backside whether in reassurance or to prevent him from pulling out, even Rey isn't sure. "Just, go slowly."_

_"I will." The absolute resolution to his sweet, deep voice makes a strange flutter take hold inside. Perhaps especially when Ben rains soft kisses on her cheeks and neck that has her giggling and yet gasping in time with the slow drag of his cock against her inner walls as he moves shallowly in and out._

_The pain has quite melted away into something golden and indolent. Each gentle thrust brings Ben deeper and deeper, punctuated by his ragged breathing and half-coherent uttering of "Fuck, Rey--" and "So good--."_

_Maybe it's the fourth glass of sangria she didn't turn down, or the pleasant breeze after another day of scorching heat, or that she is away from home and everyone she knows, or maybe it's just Ben together in the moonlight._

_But it_ feels _seamless. Like they are meant to be._


	2. Chapter 2

June 2019  
Philadelphia, BIO2019

The convention center was an irritating maze to navigate to the closest exit amongst too many besuited bodies. But Rey was determined to dig into a bowl of Pho or at least chicken over rice from a street vendor than pay the prices offered by the convention center options. Plus, aggressively winding her way through people allowed her to gather her thoughts in preparation for the inevitable word-strings to be issued by her mouth.

So, off to a good start.

If only Ben hadn't insisted upon placing a protective arm behind her back, just the barest brushing of his immaculate suit and firm, large hand to protect her from the crush. It was especially hard to generate any righteous irritation, remember the hurt and resentment that had once stung so acutely, when enveloped once again in his smooth, woody scent.

Finally out of the blasting AC and into the humid, midday sun, Rey glanced up at Ben, wincing through the sun glare to ask, "Vietnamese okay? Actually, do you have time to eat, I didn't even ask that. We can just stop by a food truck and you can watch me--"

"It's good to see you."

The smooth baritone cut through what was gearing up to be a babbling deluge, and Rey could only work her lips open and closed in what she imagined was a fair imitation of a fish. Ben was looking down at her intently, unblinking, giving her the full weight of his undivided attention with a slight smile.

"So yes?" The question came out weakly, unable to stand the sincerity in his voice and eyes.

Ben gave a low laugh. "I wouldn't dare keep you from it. Let's go."

Rose, who grew up in Philly, had recommended Pho Cali in Chinatown, only a short walk from the Convention Center, and Rey distracted herself by fixating on google maps as they navigated suspiciously stained and odored streets on their way to the restaurant.

Seated at a long table and having ordered a beef brisket Pho, and Ben a charbroiled pork banh mi, Rey settled back in her chair and tried not to notice the weight of Ben's steady gaze and soft smile.

"What, not Pho? Is it a carbs thing?"

A smirk pulled the corners of his mouth. "It has bread, you know."

"Still, you picked one of four items that does not contain vermicelli out of a four page menu. It's remarkable. The kind of detail that stands out in an episode of Sherlock."

"I haven't seen it yet. Are there many Pho based storylines in Sherlock?"

"If not, there should be."

At that moment the waitress came back with her Pho and Ben's admittedly appealing sandwich, thus saving Rey from any more Pho-related discourse.

They lapsed into a contented food related silence. Admittedly, Rey was never happier than when she was eating. _Of course I'm happy._

After chewing and swallowing a sizable bite of pork and pickled carrots, Ben commented, "Actually, where I live in SoCal there is a sizable Vietnamese population, so I eat Pho all the time."

Rey gaped a bit mid-chew, before remembering to swallow hastily and choking out, "Get out, me too. I mean, I live in San Diego."

A smile tugged on his lips, before he went back to his sandwich. "Yeah I know."

"What'd you do, Facebook stalk me?"

Ben was definitely grinning now. "Something like that."

Rey let the plastic chopsticks rest against the side of the hefty bowl, keeping her gaze firmly fixated on the geometrical trim. "Why did you stop replying to me?"

There was a long silence, but Rey was determined to not look away or give in and speak first.

"I-. Fuck, Rey." She waited as he seemed to grapple for words. "I'm so sorry."

As if given permission to let loose her resentment, Rey snapped bitterly, "Sorry? How convenient."

Ben fell into silence again, and Rey gave a sigh.

"I didn't mean that. I mean, I _do_, a little at least, but it's been 14 years. We were kids. I get it. It's just, you hurt me, Ben."

"I'm so sorry," the words were repeated in a hoarse voice. Rey finally glanced up, and had to blink at the absolute wretchedness in his pleading, warm eyes. "I-."

Bracing herself for more disappointment, Rey watched as he took a deep breath, knuckles white as they clenched his water glass.

"I truly loved you Rey. I would have replied if I could have, I swear it."

It felt as though the breath was sucked from her lungs. "Then why?" The words were a mere whisper.

Ben gave a weary sigh. "It's kind of a long story. Remember what I told you about my family?"

Her brow furrowed at the change in topic, thinking back to those conversations over bocadillas at the corner shop by the language school. "You said you didn't get along well with your parents, and you were living with your Uncle during high school."

Ben nodded. "Yes, well, maybe a few months after I was back home, I found out that my parents have been hiding this huge family secret. I had always known my mom and uncle were adopted, but it was revealed that my grandfather is Anakin Skywalker."

"Wait." Rey wracked her brain a moment. The name was very familiar. Although she hadn't grown in up in the States, she did study world history in her A levels. "As in, President Nixon's Vice President?"

"Attorney General, actually," Ben corrected. "Unlike Nixon, who evaded any real criminal charges, my grandfather was indicted. Even worse, my grandmother died shortly after giving birth to my mother and uncle under what appeared to be suspicious circumstances. Some believed my grandfather to be responsible for her death, after she confronted him for his involvement in the Watergate coverup."

Mind whirling over these revelations, Rey watched as Ben brought a weary hand over his brow. "My mother had been running for political office when the opposition dug up my mom's connection to my grandfather. The first time I even heard about it was from classmates watching the news. And my mom, well, she was the same as always, caring about appearances more than family. She dropped out of the race in hopes of it dying down. I, well, I guess I reacted..._poorly_ to the situation. Got in fights at school. Skipped class. It came to a head with my Uncle. We had a huge row, and my uncle--he accused me of being like my grandfather. A-nd I, I _lost_ it. Broke my Uncles arm, gave him stitches on his forehead...After that, they sent me to military school until graduation. I was completely cut off from the outside world--no phone, no internet. After that, I didn't speak to my family for years."

"Oh Ben," she breathed at last. "I don't know what to say."

Ben worked his mouth into a grim line. "Rey, I'm not proud of what I did. To my Uncle, to you. I know it's cowardly that I didn't try to contact you when I was out. I thought too much time had past, and you would hate me."

"I didn't hate you. I don't hate you." Impulsively, Rey shot her hand across the table, grasping his much larger one within her own.

With a feeling of warmth spreading inside, Rey met his soft gaze and smile with a feeling of hope.

"Can I take you to dinner Rey? When we get back?"

Seized with a sudden giddiness, Rey attempted a raised an eyebrow but couldn't quite suppress a grin from peaking out. "Already it's a we? I don't even know where you live in SoCal."

"You could give me your email address?"

Rey wrinkled her nose. "Too soon."

June 2005  
Madrid

_Rey thinks the most beautiful thing she's ever seen is Ben's face when he comes._

_More beautiful than Velázquez's_ Las Meninas _or the endless cerulean sky and rolling jade green and gold hills of Spanish countryside on the bullet train to Zaragoza, or the exquisite performance of Carmen at_ el Teatro Real _she saw the previous week, or any other of the delights she was able to enjoy these past few weeks by virtue of her scholarship._

_Lips parted, eyes half lidded and uninhibitedly awash in pleasure, all tousled curls and sharp cheekbones, Ben is a veritable paragon of beauty. Caught up in his bliss and the shooting wet warmth flooding inside her, Rey is momentarily confused by the breathless question._

_"Did you come?" Ben repeats, when her answer is not forthcoming._

_Did she?_

_"It's okay," she assures him, nearly believing it, as if the sight of his sweet face forgone to the pleasure found within her cunt is more than enough._

_"Of course it's not." Ben's brows are furrowed and his slightly large ears adorably pink, but he pulls out of her carefully, his cock half hard and wet with her slick and his come._

_Rey simultaneously flushes at the sight and shivers at the slick press of his skin through her folds and the head of his cock breeching her entrance, the resistance of inner walls sending a wave of pleasure that makes her involuntarily clench down on him._

_A quick study of the effect upon her, Ben grabs his cock, roughly pumping himself to near hardness, and brings the head in deliberate strokes across her slit and clit._

_Rey whimpers at the contact, and grips Ben's shoulders as he picks up the pace, rubbing himself through her slippery folds until the heat builds to a fever pitch again._

_"Ben- Ben. Please? Can you?" she babbles, but Ben, bless him, divines her meaning, bringing his now fully hard cock inside her. Rey encourages him with her feet pressed against the small of his back, eyes rolling to the white ceiling at the slick press of his cock filling her._

_They both groan when he bottoms out, moving at a rapid pace to what seems an inevitable conclusion._

_Ben doesn't need any instruction to bring a blunt finger over her clit, rubbing the swollen bundle until it feels like sparks going off inside and outside where they are connected._

_Wordless sounds are undoubtably wrenched from her throat as her back arches off the bed, an orgasm undulating through her. And Ben keeps moving, pushing her over that crest with his eyes shut._

_When he is close to coming, Ben pulls her closer abruptly, so his lips close in hotly on her ear and his hips piston upward with a brutal pace as he fucks her. At the new angle, Ben's chest is pressed closely to hers, and his cock rubs firmly against her front wall._

_"Rey Rey...I'm gonna--."_

_Wondering if Ben was thinking chivalrously or optimistically that she could possibly orgasm again, Rey presses an open mouthed kiss to his neck, just below the ear, murmuring, "It's okay Ben." Without any real urgency, she shimmies a hand between them to rub where they are joined._

_Ben gives a hoarse cry and then he is coming deep within her. The dark head lowers by her ear, as his cock continues to pulse, whispering hotly, "I fucking love you Rey."_

_A sharp cry is heard, that Rey realizes belatedly as her own. Startled by the proclamation, the climax takes her by surprise, a sudden wave of pleasure that begins in her core and trembles through her being._

_For a long time after that they stay intwined, only the sound of their heavy breathing receding into a slower tempo to interrupt the odd peace between them._

_A great lethargy overcomes her limbs, and they disentangle slowly with a few lazy kisses._

_Rey makes a quick stop at the shared bathroom, clean, fortunately, but as she has no desire to have any run ins with the other students residing in the sharehouse, she finishes cleaning herself off as quickly as possible._

_The door makes a small click behind her, standing back within the room, taking in Ben's enormous form on the long twin, the small white dresser and green curtains from Zara home. He looks very much like a boyish giant who fitted himself in a dollhouse, lips slightly parted in the appearance of slumber._

_Rey slides carefully into the too small bed, wishing not to wake him, and listens to his steady breathing with a feeling of contentedness._

_"I love you too," she whispers timidly into the quiet room._

_For a long moment there is nothing, only the gentle rumble of Ben's breathing, then a strong arm sneaks across her body to pull her tight to the broad form behind her._

_"I know."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like the tags say, fluff and a dash of angst ;)
> 
> Thank you to everyone reading and/or commenting on this unseasonable fic! 🥰 ☺️


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Sorry for the delay! I've come down with an inconveniently timed cold, so I am playing catch up right now with RL and writing.

June 2019

"I swear this is the happiest moment of my life. Just behind seeing my daughter's face for the first time and the time we realized it was National Burger Day when we were at In-N-Out." 

"So did you quit breastfeeding?"

"Sort of. But I started cutting back a couple months ago. The new daycare doesn't store breastmilk so we needed to switch to formula anyway. And I may have wanted to remember the taste of alcohol at some point. What can I say, I planned my daughter's return to formula around my drinking habits."

"In that case, drink up!"

Rey let Rose and Kaydel's chatter wash over her, mind still lingering over her conversation with Ben and his plush lips and perfect hair, and her mouth occupied with shoveling down as much carnitas as possible.

Mission was crowded with the happy hour rush, but they managed to get a table close to the stairs and the odd atrium illuminated like a shrine and the margaritas were strong and the carnitas tasty. Although the SoCal transplant in her was probably obligated to sniff her nose, the Rey who never turned down food was _delighted_.

"Poe just texted me that he and Leia are going to drop by after the reception."

*Really? If I had known Leia was coming, I would have picked somewhere quieter. Does Leia even eat tacos?"

"Of course she eats tacos, Rose. Everyone eats tacos. She'll just look like a queen doing it and manage to eat them without spilling all the insides."

There was a lull in the conversation, as the two seemed to realize the dangers of talking instead of eating when in the presence of Rey, and paused to eat.

After a while however, Rose brought the conversation back. "When will they get here, did Poe say?"

"Hmm maybe in an hour." Kaydel lowered her head slightly, giving them a significant look. "I heard a rumor that Luke is retiring at the end of the year."

"What!" Rey spluttered over a sip of margarita, finally broken from her carnitas silence. Luke Skywalker was Leia's twin brother and acting CFO of Resistance Labs, although his health had been on the decline the last couple years. Leia, who was the CEO, had been shouldering some of the burden with Poe's assistance. Poe was widely considered to be Leia's successor.

Kaydel nodded eagerly. Technically the office manager and Leia's sometime assistant, Kaydel juggled a lot of hats at Resistance labs, including acting as the unofficial head of PR. Rey privately added office gossip to that list.

Rose furrowed a brow. "Is Poe going to take on the CFO position?"

If possible, Kaydel practically sparkled under the weight of the gossip she was holding on to. "So you would think. But I hear otherwise. It seems like Leia is bringing in Kylo Ren."

Even over the hub of happy hour drinkers and waiters shuffling across the wooden floors, the shocked silence which followed was deafening.

At last Rose demanded, "Kylo Ren? As in Snoke Industries? Those assholes who've been trying to poach R&D the past year and a half?"

Rey exchanged bewildered glances with Rose. "Why him?"

Kaydel merely shrugged. "That I don't know. But a conference is the perfect opportunity to hold clandestine meetings with your competitors."

The conversation delved into more speculation, of Kylo Ren and Leia's possible reason for bringing him on, of Poe and Finn's not-so-secret office romance, whether they would finally be getting a new espresso maker in R&D's break room. Although Rey enjoyed participating in these topics, she found her attention wandering to her phone. Especially when one message popped on the screen.

_Rey, this is Ben._  
I'm so glad I saw you today.  
...  
I can't stop thinking about you. 

A faint blush heated her face, and Rey bit her lip to keep the smile from blooming and betray her before the serial gossipers in her midst.

_Me too._

"I knew it!"

Startled, Rey bolted upright after typing that quick reply, to see her triumphant, beaming colleagues. Clearing her throat slightly, Rey squeaked out, "Knew what?"

Rose waggled her brows suggestively. "Your _friend_ from the booth today."

Now she was blushing in earnest. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Oh please. Don't play coy. He was practically undressing you with his eyes earlier, and you've been day dreaming this whole time and now smiling at your phone."

Huffing out a laugh for her friend's eagerness, Rey relented. "Alright you win. We were together once, a long time ago. But we fell out of contact until today, when he showed up at the booth."

Kaydel actually squealed with excitement. "He knew you were here? And came looking for you? Or was it completely coincidental?"

Rey paused at that. She had never considered it until now. "I don't know. He didn't say. Seemed pretty surprised to see me, I thought at the time."

"So it was just luck. That's amazing!"

"When are you going to see him again?"

Raising an eyebrow with amused tolerance, Rey replied dryly, "If only you hadn't interrupted me maybe I would find out."

They laughed at that, and Rose hailed the waiter to order a second round of margaritas.

Briefly given a respite from their playful prodding, Rey hunched over her phone again, rereading her two word reply.

_That's it, Rey?_ she scolded herself, worrying her lower lip as she stared at the screen. Rey thought back to those summer nights, curled up in Ben's arms. With a flash of inspiration, and writing quickly before she could chicken out, Rey pressed send.

_I'm sorry I didn't get that reminder._

Her breath caught. The tell tale three dots were dancing across the chat window, stopping and starting, and with it, her heartbeat.

Then the dots disappeared entirely.

Another fifteen minutes passed and no message appeared.

_It's probably nothing. Maybe he ran out of battery. Maybe someone spilled wine on his shoes at a reception and he went to the bathroom. Maybe he had a phone call from his doctor._

Feeling both deflated and embarrassed, Rey decided to put the matter to the side, placing her phone into her wristlet where it would be out of sight.

Thus she missed his reply.

_Rey, there is something I need to tell you._

_Call me?_

o-o-o-o-o-o

Two margaritas and five tacos in, Rey was feeling tipsy and a strong longing for pajamas and her hotel bed. Unfortunately, Leia and Poe's promised appearance meant it would be impolite to bow out before at least accompanying them through one drink, so Rey excused herself to make use of the restroom and freshen up.

Rey spared herself a glance in the mirror, taking in hazel eyes made smokey by her fading mascara and her usual three buns holding up by virtue of hairspray. She shrugged, grateful for small mercies and the green sheath made of unwrinkable fabric she bought on sale at Ann Taylor, and swept away in mostly unshaking heels back toward the table.

The desire to see whether Ben may have replied to her message bringing speed to her heels, Rey stopped short as she approached the entrance.

There at the top of the stairs, as if plucked from her mind, stood Ben.

Dark and towering his eyes bore down on her in his arresting manner, dressed in the same immaculate suit from earlier that made her think of inappropriate things. His brows furrowed with an intensity that, while not entirely uncommon for Ben, had a frisson of unease run up her spine.

Confusion and delight warring for dominance, Rey smiled uncertainly up at him. "Ben what are you doing here? You aren't actually stalking me are you?"

"Rey." The way he spoke her name was low and urgent, out of place for the convivial setting, further setting her on edge. He opened his mouth again, but another, familiar voice cut over him.

"Rey! Where are you guys seated?"

Poe, his blue blazer removed and sleeves rolled up, swung an arm over Ben's shoulders and flashed her a charming smile. "I see you are getting acquainted." He glanced at Ben while nodding in her direction, adding, "This is Rey Andor. She's one of our Biotech engineers and the best of the best." Winking in his ostentatious fashion, "Keep that to yourself so I don't get in trouble with the rest of R&D"

Too bewildered by the current circumstances to do more than roll her eyes, Rey gestured numbly toward their table, where Rose and Kaydel had their heads bowed in conversation. "The table is just over there."

Poe immediately headed over, with Ben in tow, who cast her one last intense look before following.

Rey made to turn in a dazed fashion, when another voice spoke up.

"You look lovely Rey. How are you my dear?"

Distracted as she was, Rey hadn't noticed Leia by Poe's side, who was smiling at her kindly, unruffled and elegant in a white pantsuit unlikely to have been bought on sale.

Trying regain her equilibrium, Rey smoothed her hands over the twill jade. "Oh thank you! I am doing very well, Leia. Was the reception interesting?"

Leia made a dismissive wave, and crooked smile, taking Rey's arm as they followed the men over. "Oh it was the usual networking, but the food was pretty good. Not as good as tacos I would imagine."

Rey laughed aloud, watching as Poe seemed to be making introductions between Ben and the seated women. Although it was hard to tell in the dim lighting, Rose appeared to be shooting incredulous looks between Ben and herself. Thinking quickly, Rey turned to Leia. "May I ask who is the gentlemen who came with you?"

Leia seemed to tense slightly at the question, before relaxing into a neutral smile. "I will be making proper introductions shortly. But he is my son."

_Her son._

Mind whirling at the implications, Rey followed Leia in silence to the table.

"-fills in a lot of undefined categories around the company and regularly saves my ass--"

"Twice on a good day," Kaydel chimes in, earning laughs around the table.

"That doesn't surprise me in the slightest. He always needed me to bust him out of scrapes when we were growing up."

Rey's ears perked up at Ben's deep timber, at the obvious note of affection.

"It wasn't that often," Poe complained. When his eyes alighted on Leia and Rey, Poe immediately pulled out a chair designated for Leia. The neighboring table had been pulled up to account for their increased party, and Rey found herself reseated next to Ben.

As she wondered whether to speak, drowning in Ben's silent intensity and Rose's meaningful glances, Rey found herself pathetically grateful when Leia took charge of their group by speaking first.

"As I am sure Poe has no doubt introduced you, this is Ben Solo. However, you probably would know him better as Kylo Ren. On top being a financier with vigorous experience in financial management and as the Director of Operations for Snoke Industries, he is my son. I have asked him to be here tonight, because he has agreed to become CFO after Luke's retirement at the year's end." After dropping such a bombshell in their midst, Leia smiled at Ben, who nodded jerkily at the show of support.

Rose was the first to break the silence, as she inquired cooly, in light of the bad blood between Resistance Labs and Snoke Industries, "At year's end you say. Will you continue at Snoke Industries until then?"

"I will tender my resignation upon my return." Ben's voice was resolute, though it should not surprise Rey. "I have agreed to become a guest lecturer for one semester at the School of Business at the University of San Diego from this August, and apart from this obligation I plan to work with my Uncle in a consulting basis until his retirement. Privately," and his gaze shifted to Rey suddenly, a soft and pleading vulnerability shining through before he glanced away, "I plan on some self-reflection."

Poe shook his head, quipping in what seemed to Rey to be an obvious attempt to break the tension, "It's hard to imagine you teaching anyone. Won't you scare the kids away from finance?"

Ben smiled tolerantly, but he pointed out dryly, "They're hardly kids, Dameron. I know you spent college like a drunker extension of high school, but these business school students are 19 or 20."

Before Poe could try to correct the record, Leia cut in, "See what you have to look forward to in quarterlies."

With Poe and Leia's efforts, the awkwardness more or less dissipated, and even Rey felt herself relaxing somewhat, only half listening to Leia speak as she tried to put her feelings in order.

"..an internal announcement and press release will be issued next week once Ben has finalized his resignation. Naturally we expect you all to exercise discretion in this regard. The opportunity for a face to face meeting seemed too ideal to pass up..."

This was...good.

Weird.

But good.

Ben would be in the city, the same building even. They could have lunches together and take casual jogs in Balboa park. No waiting to see his face whatever odd weekend he was in town.

Rey was done with waiting for someone to come back.

Or was it bad? Dating an executive at your workplace sounded like something frowned upon in corporatespeak. Especially for someone coming in with baggage, mitigated though they were by a charismatic family member in power.

Should she be angry Ben did not disclose this to her at their lunch earlier?

Suddenly Rey was exhausted by a day of revelations and first loves. The conversation had long moved on without her, but she found herself standing abruptly, murmuring excuses to the air. "It's been a long day, I think I need to head back to the hotel."

She was peripherally aware of the large man beside her standing, heard his deep voice chime in, "I'll walk you back."

Unable to meet his eyes, Rey looked instead at Leia whose brows were raised in discontent or puzzlement or both. The canny woman's eyes narrowed before smoothing into a kindly look at whatever emotion was dangling off her own face. "That's kind of you Ben. Let's talk once you are back home."

"Of course. I'll let you know."

They said the rest of their goodbyes, and at last it was just the two of them strolling into the night.

Brains were funny things. The way they store memory is a compilation of sounds, smells, feelings--sometimes in the most tenuous connections. The same way she inevitably thought about Doctor Who every time she listened to Daft Punk's _Random Access Memories_ album because Rose, her roommate at the time, was on a Who bender when the album came out. Or how she always could recall her mother's face, with painful clarity, as if frozen in time to the last moment she saw her, whenever she smelled Lily of the Valley, her mother's preferred fragrance.

Perhaps that was why she was reminded of that night. The heat, the slight breeze. Ben's nervous glances and looks of admiration she pretended not to notice.

"Do you even know where my hotel is? It could be in the opposite direction from yours."

The question came out lightly, but somehow that's how she felt. Free, cut from a tether.

"Rey, I can explain--"

"Ben I'm not mad," she interrupted him firmly.

"You aren't?" Ben gaped at her, as if the possibility never crossed his mind.

"I'm not," she confirmed, making sure her voice was steady, so no doubt could linger like a festering wound.

"But, why?"

Rey laughed aloud at the question, some unparsed emotion welling up inside her that tinged her laughter with hysteria and drew the slightest moisture to her eyes. If anything, Ben looked more worried. Once she calmed down, Rey forced her jumbled thoughts into language. "Sorry, I mean, I swear I'm not mad. But it's kind of a lot. I mean, we just found each other again, and in the same day, I find out your mom is my boss. Then I find out you will also be my sort of boss. But you know what, that's fine." Rey took a deep breath, and spoke with determination. "I'm not going to deny myself one second of happiness, okay?"

Ben stared at her and stared at her. Like he thought she would disappear. Like she was someone worth all those complications and more. "When do you fly back?"

Caught off guard by the question, Rey answered simply, "Tomorrow at noon."

"Then, can I see you Saturday?"

The sweet earnestness as he awaited her reply had warmth curling her insides, but still she hesitated. "You won't, I mean, you don't want to come back to my room?" A blush heated its way over her cheeks.

Ben closed the distance between them until she was enveloped in his sturdy embrace. "Rey, I want that more than anything," he confessed lowly. He relaxed his hold so their eyes met, close enough that Rey could shutter her eyes and stand on tiptoes to have their lips meet. "But you were drinking and a lot has happened today. I don't want to pressure you."

The words threatening to burst hotly past her lips were, "I didn't drink _that_ much." But Rey could not deny the sense behind Ben's caution (and maybe those margaritas _did_ have a generous amount of tequila in them), and leaned upward to press a chaste kiss on Ben's plush lips.

At least, that was her intention anyway.

Ben's eyes crinkling softly in the streetlight, that tender, tentative look as he waited for her to make the first move--it was deja vu and coming home and sweet promises that Rey knew would devastate her in the best possible way. The moment Ben's warm breath brushed her skin, Rey's lips parted of their own accord an invitation to the slick glide of his lips and tongue against hers. Rey was helpless to the desire to chase the pleasure found within until they were both gasping into the balmy evening. Ben groaned against her nape in a heated rumble that morphed into a rueful laugh.

With one last kiss as a lingering promise, Rey whispered, "See you Saturday, Ben."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie. I was totally going to have them bang at the end of the chapter. But I think I have written enough alcohol facilitated sexual encounters to have my life choices called into question.
> 
> Like I said, slight delay while I recover, but I hope I can get the finale finished by next week. Thanks guys 🤧 😅😷


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never?  
On to the end...

June 2019  
San Diego

_"Everybody loves the things you do  
From the way you talk to the way you move..."_

Rey bopped from the bathroom to her bedroom in a flannel bathrobe and slippers along to Adele crooning from the beat up speaker connected by AUX cable to her phone she picked up at a yard sale five years ago.

_"Everybody here is watching you  
'Cause you feel like home, you're like a dream come true"_

A suitcase lay haphazardly open in the hallway, while a stack of mail and keys were still plunked on the kitchen table. The overflowing hamper she had promised herself she would wash as soon as she came back, eyed her mournfully as she toweled off from the shower. At the very least, Rey had managed to wash the plate and mug from her dinner of frozen pizza and decaf tea the night before.

_"But if by chance you're here alone  
Can I have a moment before I go?"_

Such mundane tasks paled before the necessity of piling through her closet of dryer faded jeans and old t-shirts, pencil skirts and blouses, slinky dresses and bargain bin maxis. Unfortunately, these options were all garbage, terrible stupid clothes, and Rey flopped on her bed with enough force to send the ikea frame into a geriatric tailspin. Creeping on her elbows forward, Rey just managed to snag her smartphone off the nightstand, careful not to pull the speaker by the admittedly short cable.

_"'Cause I've been by myself all night long  
Hoping you're someone I used to know..."_

_Rose, what's the least terrible outfit I own?  
Something that reads, attractive and put together, but hasn't been extremely overthinking what to wear._

Rose, bless her, did not leave her biting her lip for an agonizing eternity or so, and three little dots soon lit up the screen.

_First of all._  
Wear your blue slip with a leather jacket. The leather one you wore for Finn's birthday. It's comfortable and chic.  
Second of all.  
Please tell me this is for a date with booth-friend, Ben Solo, aka soon to be our boss. 

A reluctant grin pulled Rey from her funk. Rose's suggestion was a good one. Moreover, her friend's habit of cutting to the chase, released some of the lingering tension that had unknowingly weighed her since two nights ago.

_Thanks, Rose._  
I neither confirm nor deny this allegation. 😉  
_But yes._  
You aren't, I don't know, upset about the whole Kylo Ren thing, are you?  
For the record, I didn't know

_I'll be honest, I'd be interested in hearing from your boyfriend why he left Snoke Industries, but as long as he's gone for good, that's good enough for me.  
Have fun tonight babe <3<3_

Ben lived a good four and half hours away in Orange County, but he had flew back to San Diego to spend a long weekend at Leia's townhouse. According to Ben, Leia lived in his childhood home in Del Mar, where he would be driving down to on Sunday. It was with relief that Rey had heard the news, imagining Ben's broad form in her tiny, cluttered apartment. After sparing one last glance at the crime scene behind her, clad in the blue slip and her favorite leather jacket, Rey stepped out the door.

Normally Rey would bike downtown for lunch or shopping, but as both dress and occasion made such a vehicle inappropriate, she headed toward the train instead.

The curious sight of a gleaming red, classic convertible pulled up on the block, however, had her slowing her stride.

Rey was no expert, but she had always had a soft spot for classic cars, and had even spent a year working a part time job at a car shop during uni. Surviving alone on a scholarship, the pressure for internships in her field forced her to make the painful decision to quit, but there had been something satisfying about working with her hands, even if it was mostly oil changes and tire replacements. _This_ beauty had obviously been restored with love, and her fingers itched to run along the steel body.

Noticing, belatedly, the dark haired owner sporting aviators sitting in the parked car, Rey made an awkward back step to pretend she was checking for cars on the road, when a voice called out.

"Rey!"

An abrupt turn about later and Ben was grinning at her with the aviators flipped to rest on his perfect waves. "Ben? What are you doing here? And what is this car?"

Unfolding from his seat like a Grecian God or at least a Jcrew model, in a crisp linen henley of seafoam green and dark wash denim, Ben strode toward her with effusive, smoldering energy, eyes raking over her form in apparent appreciation. Stretching on her tiptoes, Rey met him halfway in a soft press against his lips, taking in the warmth of his body and comforting, clean scent with a hint of sweat and spice.

"I told you I was fine taking the train," she found herself teasing, allowing her gaze to trail over the bonnet behind him. The complaint was mostly for show. Already her cheeks were stretching in a beatific smile, and her head rested against Ben's firm chest contentedly.

"And spare you a ride in this piece of junk? C'mon, hop in. I thought you'd like to see the old girl." Despite his words, Ben's voice was colored with wry affection. With an arm swung playfully about her waist, Rey found herself maneuvered into the black leather seat on the passenger side.

During the lull in conversation while Ben started the ignition and pulled into drive, Rey took a moment to study the black paneling of the vintage dashboard and the manual transmission.

"How much of this is O.E.M?"

Ben gave a laugh tinged with self deprecation. "You're asking the wrong person. The Falcon is--_was_ my Dad's. She's a 1963 Ford Falcon Futura Convertible. He spent my whole life in the garage fixing her up. Sometimes I hate the thing, but she means the world to my Dad."

The correction gave Rey pause. As far as Rey knew, Leia's husband and (obviously) Ben's father, was a retired pilot. Surely she would have heard that he passed away. "Was?" she ventured.

However, Ben continued in an even tone, explaining matter-of-factly, "He gave her to me. Left her at the townhouse."

After initially releasing some tension at the confirmation, Rey mulled this information, taking in the tightness edging beneath the levity. "Are things better now? With your parents."

"Yeah. They are. We are talking again. Managed to go a whole week together without bodily injury."

Rey reached over to his hand resting on the stick shift, squeezing briefly before pulling away. "I'm happy for you, Ben."

They drove in silence the rest of the way to the restaurant, but Rey felt a warmth unfurl through her chest.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Dinner passed in a golden haze of good food and wine, soft touches beneath the table and lidded smiles, lively conversation that started with appetizers and went past the stiffly precise, "_Can I get you anything else inquiries?_" from their waiter.

They ate at a seafood restaurant with open bistro seating that brought a gentle breeze of salt air and boasted of sustainable, fresh seafood. And Ben was beautiful in the ambient lighting, with his lustrous tresses and charming dimples. Rey was mesmerized by the curve of his lips, the rumble of his laugh.

Since he would have to drive, Ben drank only a glass of wine from the shared carafe, then had a beer with the main course. Out of solidarity, Rey limited herself as well. And other considerations.

They rehashed the years apart--their college experiences and academics, Rey's friends at Resistance Lab, Ben's time at Snoke Industries, their favorite TV shows and go-to weekend routines, Ben's unexpected decision to take over for Luke.

"I didn't know for sure it was you. I didn't plan for any of this to happen."

Rey toyed with the stem of her wine glass. The wine, a fruity merlot, was excellent, and although Rey was hardly a connoisseur, it went down easily and paired with the buttery, flakey fish. The rich food and wine and Ben's intoxicating presence was going to her head. Keeping her head grounded, Rey kept it simple. "What did you know?"

Was it the wine or did Ben flush? "My mom and Uncle Luke had approached me about coming on early this year at a family event. I wasn't entirely _receptive_, but Leia had been prodding me to join and kept bringing up a Rey every so often. I assumed she was trying to set us up, but I didn't think it was you. Not until BIO."

"And at night? When you came to Mission?"

"I just _did_ it. I decided to leave Snoke." Ben's words came in a low rush, as if the revelation still surprised even himself. The intensity of his gaze was nearly overwhelming. "After I saw you. At our lunch together."

The breath left her lungs in a rush. There was something wet prickling her eyes. "Oh."

"Yeah." He huffed a laugh. "Then my mom immediately wanted me to join everyone. 'And, you know, _Rey_ will be there.' I tried, well, I _failed_, to warn you ahead of time."

Rey quirked her lips. "Indeed. I had no idea of the matchmaking my boss was conniving."

When the waiter informed them the kitchen would be shutting down, they decided to leave, walking back to the Falcon hand and hand. It was a typical balmy clear evening, but already winding down from dinner goers, so they drove to Mission Beach to walk along the shoreline.

A waxing moon lingered brightly upon the horizon, even as the sun, long fallen, bled faint rays of orange and red across the waves. There were others--teenagers in a huddle, a guitarist holding an impromptu concert for a few onlookers, a number of couples taking walks--but Rey only noticed them in passing. There was only Ben, and the warmth of his hand clasping hers, his clean scent and gentle rumble. There was only them, at times in comfortable silence, and at others giving voice to the connection between them.

Conversations which trailed in soft confessions and lingering smiles beneath the moonlight and above the soothing crashing of the sea.

"Did you ever find her?"

"No."

A squeeze of the large palm holding hers.

_You're not alone._

_Neither are you._

"But I've made my peace with it. With her. I have to let her go."

When darkness overtook the last rays of light, only illumination from the moon and the city lights to guide them, Rey pressed her forehead against Ben's smooth chest, content in his firm embrace. "Will you take me home, Ben?"

o-o-o-o-o-o

Relearning Ben's body was a pleasure she would never tire of. Relearning his heart was an privilege she would cherish.

There were eddies and ridges, unfathomable depths she longed to plunge. Was it possible to fit the broken pieces of one's soul to those of another? Ben's deep groans as she ran her tongue on the underside of his thick cock made her long to try.

Their clothes were forgotten somewhere on the floor of the entranceway to Leia's elegant townhouse, perhaps in the hallway or in the master bedroom.

Ben was unworldly. _Breathtaking_. His body was a work of art that deserved to be enshrined in marble, and if not, certainly traced by her tongue.

As soon as she slid the tented briefs from his muscular bum, Rey could not resist the desire to taste him.

Alabaster skin flushed with arousal, smooth and thick. So pretty. Just as she remembered.

"Rey, you don't have to." Ben's choked words were in contradiction to the loose winding of his hands on the back of her head.

Rey smiled around the head of his cock, and popped off briefly to flash a look at his long lashes, dazed and reverent. "I _want_ to, Ben."

Words were forgotten then. Or at least those words derived from reason. In their place came incoherent babbling, "Fuck, Rey"'s, and "So, good," and even "I want to live in your mouth." Rey lapped them up eagerly, and took him deeper into her mouth.

Caught up in suctioning as much of him as she could, it took Rey a moment to realize the grunted mantra of her name had gone from those of pleasure to a genuine call of attention until Ben was pulling away from her mouth. As the head of him passed her lips, Rey could only stare blankly at Ben's flushed face. "Why?"

He pulled her up swiftly, lips crashing down on hers with enough passion to forget her confusion and ignite the flames in her belly. As their lips parted in favor of Ben nipping at her pulse point, he murmured against her skin, "I wanna come inside you."

Desire pooled molten and velvet at the suggestion. Suddenly Rey wanted nothing more. Licking her inexplicably dry lips, Rey shifted herself over Ben's lap so her very _not_ dry folds rubbed on his length trapped between them, making them both moan in unison.

"_Rey_." Ben pressed an open mouth kiss to her neck as she undulated her hips against him, a slick glide that carried obscenely over the ruffling of sheets. "I won't last like this." Another kiss punctuated the words. "I want it to be good for you."

The head of Ben's cock notched at her entrance, the wet fullness making Rey's eyes roll back briefly after a shallow thrust had him enter her slightly. "It _is_ good, Ben. So good." Rey took him in hand, ready to impale herself further. _Surely_ she was wet enough. "It _will_ be good," she promised, breathily.

Ben let out a laugh that rumbled against her skin. "While I appreciate your confidence," and now Ben ducked his head, a bit of a flush overtaking his ever honest ears, "it's been a while since I've done this. Nor have I done it, _often_..."

It was silly and unprogressive how _happy_ she felt at his confession. And beneath it, a sort of possessive satisfaction. Purring, "Then I'll take care of you--" she yelped as Ben lifted her straight off the bed. "What are you--? Put me down Ben." Drat the stupidly strong man. Her protests fell away, however, as Ben's intention came clear.

Ben settled her gently over his face, his big dumb strong hands holding her upright as he grinned up from between her thighs.

Hiding a shiver at the warm breath wafting over her drenched core, Rey arched a brow. "Well?"

Then dissolved into moans of exhilarated pleasure as Ben buried his face into her cunt.

o-o-o-o-o-o

_One hundred and three days after her last email goes without response, Rey accepts that Ben is never going to write back._

_It's...fine._

_She's fine._

_They were...that is,_ she _was...just a summer fling, a way to pass the time while abroad._

_It shouldn't hurt. It doesn't hurt._

_How could it hurt any more than her mother leaving her in a hotel lobby in Brighton with only a suitcase and a few granola bars? Nothing could be as devastating as that._

_That day, a waft of Lily of the Valley floated from her mother's best coat, pale blue wool with a velvet trimmed collar, only just covering the less pleasant smell of sweat mixing with hairspray. Her mother's chestnut hair was fashioned in neat curls, a bold red lip pulled into a trembling smile. "Reybie, be a good girl and hide right here. You understand? Stay right here and I will come back for you, sweetheart. I promise."_

_For years she whispered those words to herself, into the small hours of the night, crying silent tears in one foster home or another._

_She survived that._

_She would survive this._

_After all, she should have expected this._

_He hadn't meant the words. She was just foolish enough to believe it. To say the words back. To love him._

o-o-o-o-o-o

_Don't leave me. Don't leave me. Don't leave me._

Brought, trembling, to the edge of a cliff, Rey fell.

The fall was devastating. It turned her insides outside and wrung her of all barriers, all walls meant to protect her.

"Rey? Rey!"

There were large hands cradling her face, a thumb swiping across her cheek, and silken lips pressing a rain of kisses on her skin.

"I won't leave you, I swear it. Rey, speak to me, _please_."

The familiar, loving voice tore through the fog of her mind like a tether to her heart. With the creaking of an aching, wearied organ, Rey blinked her eyes open.

A worried, beloved Ben gazed down at her, still holding her in a gentle, but firm embrace. His plush lips were slick with her juices, eyes red rimmed and flushed. The realization was at once arousing and disorienting. And she burst into tears.

As fourteen, no, _twenty two_ years of grief and abandonment poured out of her in cathartic sobs, Ben rocked her through it until the tears subsided and she took long, shaking breaths against his bare chest.

"Rey?" Ben's whisper was tentative, and a firm hand brought soothing circles across her back. "It's going to take time, isn't it? For you to forgive me."

A fresh outpouring of tears met this pronouncement, but Rey shook her head against Ben's chest. "No, I already forgave you. I'm not.._resentful_. It's just, you leaving brought it all back for me."

Ben stilled beneath her, a hitch in his breathing that signaled a dawning realization. "Your mom." The agonized guilt she could hear in his voice was palpable, and made her own heart twist in sympathy.

She took a deep breath. It was nearly at a normal cadence. "There was always a part of me that believed she would come back. That she would come find me. And we would be a family again."

There was a shuddering breath and then Ben's lips pressed against her own in a chaste kiss. As he pulled away, he whispered, "I'll be your family. I'll be whatever you need me to be." Ben reared back slightly, searching her face for something, before settling for a pensive, but hesitant, "I'll give you space, if you need it."

_No!_

"I don't want space. I just want you." The fervent declaration was strained and reedy from the sobs which tore through her before, but Rey had never felt more certain of her own mind.

Ben seemed to understand this as he was pressed to her again, mouth moving urgently against hers as she gasped in a breath and kissed him with equal urgency. With inexplicable ease, Rey was suddenly reminded of the heat which had run through her veins only a short while ago. The taste of her own orgasm lingering in his mouth, the desire for connection, for Ben to fill her empty spaces with his body and soul, was unquenchable.

The harsh panting of Ben as he broke from her lips spoke the same reverent need. "I won't ever leave you."

Rey found herself pressed upon the mattress, Ben kissing a fiery trail down her neck. She squirmed at the nips of teeth and soothing laves of his tongue, but they only fanned the flames between her legs. Clenching over nothing, Rey pleaded, "I _need_ you, Ben."

And sweet, dependable Ben, gave a low groan, lined himself at her entrance, and pushed inside.

The burning stretch was a bittersweet reminder of how few others had ever filled the void left behind him. But she pushed through the pain--the encompassing desire to be one with him drowning out all other concerns. She wanted to drown in sensation--to blur the lines between Ben and Rey until there was only warmth and love and you're not alone's.

Any pain was fleeting. Still pliant and responsive from her earlier orgasm, Rey knew it would not take much to racket up pleasure again. Soon an electric warmth flooded her senses at the fullness, of _him_, and had her curling legs around Ben's muscular back in a wordless demand for _more_. And Ben obliged, bracing himself on the mattress to make powerful, rhythmic thrusts that had her mind whiting out all sensations other than his cock filling her.

Rey angled her hips to meet him thrust for thrust, as a tightening in her belly signaled a climax looming just out of reach. Instinctively chasing that feeling, Rey fastened her lips on the soft lobe of Ben's ear and releasing a wordless cry. She let herself relinquish control, trusting Ben to take her where she needed to go.

There was only Ben, and his eyes glimmering like constellations.

"Let go, Rey."

So she did.

o-o-o-o-o-o

That night, wrapped in the arms of the man she loved, Rey dreamed of summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's a wrap!  
Thank you to everyone who followed along this unseasonal fic, and sorry for the wait and third hour angst. I don't know what to tell you guys. It just happened.
> 
> This is the first fic I've finished since writing for the fandom, so I feel a little accomplished 😊
> 
> Copious googling of San Diego occurred while writing this fic, where I have never actually been. My little sister is obsessed with San Diego for some reason and goes there every year so maybe that gave me the confidence to pretend I know anything about it. During the writing of these scenes my conversations with her was pretty much, "Tell me more about this city you are obsessed with that I have strangely specific knowledge of from a real estate and google maps perspective."
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much to everyone for reading and commenting on this fic! I have a couple more new fic ideas that will probably appear in the near(ish) future and I have to finish [YKTLCWM](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19124341/chapters/45447178) as well.

**Author's Note:**

> I realize it is unseasonable to post a fic with a summer setting in late October, but what can I say, there is a reason that my other modern AU I deliberately failed to state the season.
> 
> As the tags say, this is mostly just self-indulgent fluff so look elsewhere for plottiness.
> 
> This is about 85% written, three chapters and an epilogue, so I'll probably have the whole thing posted in a week or two tops.
> 
> If you enjoy let me know ;)


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